What's better for the child?
At the beginning of the hearings pitting a wealthy foster family against a biological father from a rural town in Cuba for the custody of a 5-year-old girl, I opined the father should get the child. Case closed. I suspected politics infiltrated what should've been a simple matter of family rights.
I'm not so sure now. Though the judge in the case ruled that the biological father, a farmer of limited means and education, was fit to serve as a parent for the girl, my thinking has evolved as I've read more about the case. The 5-year-old has obviously bonded with the foster couple. Her half-brother has been adopted by them and the little girl is very close to him. What's more, it seems that the biological father and his legal team may have fabricated some letters to prove he was interested in the girl in the eyes of the court.
I think the girl would be better served staying where she's at -- a safe home where she's cared for disinterestedly. In Cuba, yes, she would be with her biological father, but in a home and with a family she really knows nothing about. Biology isn't everything.
I'm not so sure now. Though the judge in the case ruled that the biological father, a farmer of limited means and education, was fit to serve as a parent for the girl, my thinking has evolved as I've read more about the case. The 5-year-old has obviously bonded with the foster couple. Her half-brother has been adopted by them and the little girl is very close to him. What's more, it seems that the biological father and his legal team may have fabricated some letters to prove he was interested in the girl in the eyes of the court.
I think the girl would be better served staying where she's at -- a safe home where she's cared for disinterestedly. In Cuba, yes, she would be with her biological father, but in a home and with a family she really knows nothing about. Biology isn't everything.
posted by Ana Veciana-Suarez at 8:45 AM
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8 Comments:
They all look at this through their own eyes, full of politics or racism. If they looked through the child's eyes they would see a very troubled and uncertain future. You will lose the only person who has really protected you and been by your side all the time, your brother. Your stepmother will forever see you as the result of her husband's affairs and treat you as second class over her own children. Your father whom you don't know is playing it cool for now to gain your trust but he looks very authoritative and imposing when speaking in public. The same person who knew from the beginning your mother beat you and not only did he allowed it but gave his consent for you to be taken to a foreign country. The same person who has been lying in court and fabricating evidence and who didn't even send you a letter you during your most dire times and dragged his feet for 9 months to come and see you. You'll lose your new loving and caring family who has given you and your brother everything you never had, a secure home, a certain future and lots of love to be sent to a country about which everyone says there is a lack of everything from toys to milk for children. No more Christmas, fireworks, Disney World or Chucky Cheese, from now on it's going to be Russian Cartoons and revolutionary marches celebrating Grandpa. Your future education would be a quarter school subjects, quarter indoctrination and a half forced child labor harvesting in the countryside like every other Cuban child. By the time you are a teenager, your hands will be full of blisters and your wildest dreams will be to own a pair of Nike shoes. By the time you are 20 your dreams will be to leave the island by any means necessary and both prostitution and rowing will be in your list of possible ways to return to the country from which your father took you away as a child.
Only in Miami and the Politics that surround this circus would a fit parent be subject to losing their biological child. Once again Miami and its Banana Republic mentality is going to get another education of our (USA) Democratic system just like they did in the Elian case. The child belongs with his Father (Biological Parent) period. I would love anyone who is a parent to feel and risk losing their own child because a relative or friend can provide a nice new swing set. See here in America, Democracy protects its weakeast link and the ones who cannot defend themsleves. Democracy is not a self serving selfish tool that one can use to fight a politcal agenda to get back at a man with a beard ninety miles away. It is time the people of Miami try to understand how Democracy in America works. It does not have special rules or exceptions in their corner of the world. Democracy is not a scrapbook that you can paste and obey what laws you like and disregard the laws you do not like or agree with. That may work in a Banana Republic but it does not work in America, a fact in point you found out in the Elian case. Wake up Miami and learn about Democracy in America. Take a trip To Washington DC and read the wonderful document behind the glass. Its starts with "We the People".
The child may have a good financial and loving life with the foster parents. But this child is very young, doesn't know what's going on. From her little experience in the world whe sees the foster parents as loving people and she has bonded with them. But what happens when she grows up, when she starts to realize that she has a biological father who came to Miami and possibly faked letters to get her daughter back. How will this child feel as she grows up? I suspect that she will have mixed feelings about her foster parents wanting to take care of her for whatever selfish reasons (sorry for the directness) without her having the say in this matter. My personal opiniont is that children at this age belong to their biological parents. That's who God chosed for them. Their destiny when born is supposed to be with their real parents. It seems to me that these foster parents would do anything for this kid. But the reality of life is that one's life should be dictated by who God chosed as your father and/or mother. We have this idea when it comes to "cubans who stayed behind in Cuba should not chose for their child to be brought up in a normal family life, thus interfering with the normal normal flow of family unions. This kid may not have a full life according to our standards, but to the standards of her father she may be lead a very fullfilled life as she will experience in her father's native land. Family life does not equate with a life with plenty of financial possibilities. The Miami community, the court system should stay out of this, they don't have the God given right to have this kid brought up away from her real father. Sorry for my comments which are not in favor of these two great persons who in absence of being real parents would be the best choice for this kid. I know that any kid who doesn't have a parent, would have a great loving life with this great couple. Look around there are a lot more kids who could benefit from your love.
I am very concerned about the future of this little girl. She has no voice in the future of her life, her father has had his life in Cuba, and she has had hers in the US. If she goes back to Cuba she will live in a poor country and will learn that life is a struggle for survival. In a country where the most important needs of a human being are not properly met, means that she will never be able to develop herself beyond struggling to fullfil her basic needs. She will grown up in a community of people that have to lie, cheat, steal to put a piece of meat on the table, she will learn that lying is a usual and accepted part of living. She will never be able to know what freedom of opinion, religion, personal preference is or that it even exists. Should anyone have the right to condemn a human being to this psychological and perennial jail? Would anyone of us be willing to let anyone do this to us? I do not believe that blood is a real tie, my own blood mother beat, abandoned me, abused me. She has lied about everything, she took me away from my father, and then she put me in an orphanage while she worked for Castro, then she sent me to the US and for 3 years I lived with a wonderful American family who taught me to be American and speak English, then when she took me back she hated me because I spoke English and wanted to be American. This child's future looks like a real mess with a father and a new stepmother in a third world country, without human rights or personal freedoms. She will not be a child forever, and someday when her life is nothing more than a struggle she will wonder why anyone condemmed her to it.
Ana, you hit it right on the nail.
Miami = no value for social well-being.
Miami = no value for education.
Miami = corruption..
The list goes on and on and very unfortunate, and perhaps may change some day.
Sorry to say - the judge has ruled and the child goes back to Cuba with her dad. Too bad for her.
However, you have to think that most of us are stuck with the parents that we are born (or adopted) to. Many parents are not award winners, but they still have the right to raise their kids the way they see fit.
Poverty in a 3rd world dictatorship is not reason enough to keep her from her family.
The Cubas family should be commended for their generosity and good hearts. They want only the best for the child and I am sure that they are heart-broken.
These seem to be good people with good motives.
God bless them and help them adjust to this blow.
I have been reading about this case since day one. I have tried to remain open about it, because I too am a parent. Think about the child. You can't remove what is in this girls head. If you have a child, you know that not all kids are the same all those "theories" don't apply to all. This man and his legal team have shown they are dishonest. How can any parent, who sees a child flourishing here, take her to such a place like that? Where milk is rationed, where you have to buy food on the black market. These are trivial things, this man hasn't shown her love, he came here to fight. And the tigers he chose are like him, liars. This man didn't care about this woman and her child, he brushed her off and took up with another one. This legal team saw a fight and said, heres a nice juicey story. Who is paying for his stay here? It was printed these girls, the kid and her"sister" were drinking chocolate milk, in their condo with A/C on Brickell. And a pool, where on earth could this man afford that? who is paying for him? Where is justice in this when In Cuba, there IS NO A/C, NO BRICKELL, AND NO CHOCOLATE AND POOL EXCEPT FOR CASTRO!!!!!! Because anyone who says Castro was her teacher, what do you think? sHE'S DISGUSTING, SHE DOESN'T BELONG HERE. We think kids don't hear, they don't see, they don't remember,they are too young but they do. Kids are like sponges, they take everything in. This judge, I think is awfully lacking in any sympathy with some of her comments. she needs to think on the kid, not the dad, or mom, or the toys, or Castro, or anything. but the child.....ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS!Take the kid in her chambers with no one except a court reporter, ask her flat out, what do you want to live here with the Cubas' or go back, its simple as that. And if I was that judge, I'd sure sleep better the rest of my life. If not take your chances, and someday that child will find Judge Cohen and say " you ruined my life." Judge, go to your higher power, ask Him, or Her to enlighten you, and they will, make the right choice.
Haven't followed this case as closely as that of Elian, but surely we've learned something along the way. To me, the child should remain with her half-brother and foster parents for now, with liberal visitation rights allowed for the father. When the child is grown, she can make up her own mind where she lives. Life in Cuba could not possibly be in her best interest at this moment.
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